| Years ago, I used to manage a retreat that | | | | The evening I was to present my discussion of |
| focused on death and dying workshops. At one of | | | | humor and healing, I decided that I would give the |
| these events, there were about 100 people. All of | | | | group a multiple choice exam. The first question I |
| them had a close connection to loss. Some were | | | | asked them was, "My favorite meal on this |
| hospice caregivers, some were families of | | | | retreat thus far was: |
| terminally ill patients, some were patients near | | | | A -- Pasta and potatoes, |
| death and some had recently lost a loved one. | | | | B -- Rice and pasta, |
| The retreat lasted ten days and most of it was | | | | C -- Potatoes and rice. |
| held in silence. On the seventh day, the instructor | | | | My opening question brought down the house. |
| informed me that he wanted to work with some | | | | The audience laughed loud and long. |
| people individually. Knowing my interest in humor | | | | When the laughter died down, I asked the second |
| and healing, he asked me to take the group over | | | | multiple-choice question, |
| and do a session on that subject. Because of the | | | | "Harold's favorite food was: |
| gravity of the circumstances facing nearly | | | | A -- Rice |
| everyone in the group, I was a bit apprehensive | | | | B -- Pasta |
| to discuss humor. But I did. | | | | C -- Potatoes. |
| Before I tell you exactly how the group | | | | Again the audience went wild. |
| responded, you need to know that all meals were | | | | By the time I got to the third question, "Your |
| strictly vegetarian. Harold was the cook. It was | | | | favorite retreat cook is...", all I had to do was say |
| obvious from his rotund size that he really | | | | "A" - without even revealing what the first choice |
| enjoyed food. He had been the cook at the | | | | was - and the audience went into hysterical |
| center for many years and was good at what he | | | | laughter. |
| did. But this was the first time that Harold had to | | | | It was the most boisterous and receptive |
| adhere to a strict vegetarian menu. | | | | audience I had ever had. Later on, I realized why. |
| Knowing that he had little experience with this kind | | | | I was providing a release for them. After many |
| of cooking, we tried to clue him in on how to | | | | days in silence and intense soul-searching, the |
| prepare well-balanced healthy vegetarian meals. | | | | laughter provided much needed relief and a |
| But he did not get it. | | | | release of built up tension. I also realized that the |
| Many of his meals consisted solely of pasta, | | | | laughter that night was as important as the tears |
| potatoes and rice. Vegetarian, yes. Healthy, no. | | | | they had been crying all week. |